The Great Gatsby: Why It Didn't Work

I love Baz Luhrman. I love Leonardo DiCaprio. I love "The Great Gatsby" and above all, I love movies. With so many things to love, I made the naive mistake of assuming (which one should never do, especially when one writes film reviews) that I would of course love Luhrmann's highly anticipated adaptation. I really don't like to be wrong.

The sum of all of this films parts are great. Amazing acting, an amazing director, and source material that is considered one of the greatest novels of all time. Why, then, did this film leave me feeling so disappointed?

None of it fits together. It is the film equivalent of topping a chocolate cake with gravy. Both are luscious, rich, and satisfying. Together? It's a recipe for disaster.

Baz Luhrmann, famous for his flamboyant style in films such as Moulin Rouge and Romeo + Juliet, constantly pushes the envelope. He loves to demolish the fourth wall and invite the audience to not suspend their disbelief. In Moulin Rouge, for example, he uses music that seems completely out of place. It forces you to recognize that what you're watching is a construction. A fabrication. A beautiful lie.

However, in The Great Gatsby, it's not quite so cute. The music, with the exception of the haunting Lana Del Rey track "Young and Beautiful", jars you outside of the story violently and obtrusively. We become distanced from the characters and the story. We become distanced from the roaring 20s, too. This is problematic for many reasons, namely the fact that The Great Gatsby is so synonymous with the 1920s. With the indulgent and self-involved decade so centrally tied to the theme of the novel, and thus the film, attempting to circumvent or erase it only serves to further disconnect an already disengaged audience.

Luhrmann attempts to counter-balance this by making all other thematic and metaphoric undertones so incredibly obvious that you may find yourself having high school flashbacks. I don't think that even my 10th grade English teacher laboured so heavily to ensure that we understood what this story is really about. Rather than allowing the film to elegantly reveal these themes to us, luring us in and inviting us to draw our own interpretations, Luhrmann spoon feeds the sloppy, sugary porridge to us in heaving gulps that I found nearly impossible to choke down.

Iron Man 3

I never really "liked" Tony Stark. I wasn't even sure that I was ever supposed to. Certainly, many characters in his films don't like him. Especially Captain America. It's incredibly dangerous to anchor a massive franchise, or even just a trilogy, on a narcissistic, arrogant,  reckless rich boy. Also, as awesome as I thought the first Iron Man was, it has the ability to grow old incredibly quickly. Iron Man 3 may be the third installment in the Iron Man franchise, but it is the 4th time that Robert Downey Jr. dons the suit in a film (as he was also one of the central characters in The Avengers). That doesn't even account for the number of commercials, merchandise, late night talk shows, and conventions have featured RDJ in his Tony Stark persona. He is, without a doubt, the most over-saturated of the Marvel heroes; that's quite the statement when you consider that Marvel has released 7 movies in the past 5 years, and has at least 2 more on the horizon.

That presents a dilemma for this 3rd Iron Man film; they needed to take the story in a completely different direction or risk becoming redundant. Watching Iron Man blow something up the first time is incredibly exciting, but after a while it becomes far too predictable. Thankfully for Iron Man fans and film critics alike, Iron Man 3 dares to tread on new ground with it's storyline (even if that means temporarily distancing Stark from the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D.)

The story picks up several months after the alien attack on New York City that occurs during the last act of The Avengers. Tony, having recovered from his near-death wormhole fall physically, is dealing with what we can only assume is post-traumatic stress stemming from his fall from space. His girlfriend Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), has taken over his position as CEO of Stark Industries. His former security guard, Happy Hogan (Iron Man 1 & 2 director Jon Favreau) now helms the Stark headquarters security team, a position that is supposed to be cushy and safe. Tony's best friend Colonel Rhodes (Don Cheadle), now fights in the name of freedom as Iron Patriot (who totally stole Captain America's style). Everyone has moved on... except Tony. He spends days on end working on secret projects in his workshop, and he goes days without sleep, often awaking drenched in sweat from terrible nightmares.

His nightmares become reality when a terrorist by the name of The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) claims responsibility for a series of bombings on US soil and repeatedly takes control of television airwaves to spew his anti-American hate. The bombings at first appear to simply be terrorist attacks, but when Happy becomes one of the victims and barely escapes with his life, Tony begins to investigate them more deeply. What he uncovers is something much more complex than a terrorist attack, and a connection to radical human regeneration technology developed by a former associate Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce). Now facing a hoard of nearly invincible foes, Tony must drag himself back from the brink of destruction to save Pepper, and the world.

The film places Tony at a level of vulnerability that has never been seen before. That vulnerability is both emotional and physical, particularly when he loses the ability to use his famous suit. He is left with only one thing: his brain. Well, his brain and his new found child sidekick Short Round Harley Keener (Ty Simpkins). For the entire second act, the only thing we have to cling on to is the character of Tony Stark. It's a testament to RDJ as an actor that this didn't become the downfall of the film. In fact, it made me finally like Tony Stark. He's funny, he's vulnerable, and his motivations are clear: love. No, he isn't the most humble guy in the world, but he isn't a sociopath, either. What a relief.

Summer Movie Picks

When the hot weather rolls in, so do the summer blockbusters. Sometimes the waves carry in treasure, and sometimes trash. For me, seeing a movie on a hot summer day is one of my favourite things to do. No matter how high the mercury rises outside, you'll no doubt be cool as a cucumber inside that dark theater. Sometimes too cold.

Check out my picks for this years summer must-sees!

Iron Man 3
In Theaters Now

Robert Downy Jr. found in Iron Man his most iconic, career resurrecting role. Billionaire Tony Stark is not only the toast of the internet meme world, but also the anchor of Marvel's Avengers film series' (which also include Thor and Captain America, and may be joined by additional film spin-offs and tie-ins). Iron Man 3 brings back stars RDJ, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Don Cheadle, and throws seasoned actors into the fray with Ben Kingsley and Guy Pearce appearing as formidable foes. The film is expected to be one of the highest grossing films of the year, and definitely on my list this summer.


The Great Gatsby
In Theaters Now

In high school we were "forced" to read F. Scott Fitzgerald's great american novel, but I was one of the kids who relished the opportunity. While there is a lot of debate going on whether it actually is great, I'm hoping that Baz Luhrmann hits pay dirt again with his stylish adaptation. The Australian director is best known for his flamboyantly fabulous film Moulin Rouge, and for Gatsby he reunites with his Romeo + Juliet star Leonardo DiCaprio. DiCaprio will be joined by the amazing talents of Tobey McGuire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, and Isla Fisher.


Star Trek Into Darkness
In Theaters May 17

Into Darkness has the potential to continue to redefine both the Star Trek legacy, as well as Science Fiction filmmaking in general.
It's a no brainer that the latest installment in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot will be a huge blockbuster. Even if it's terrible, throngs of Trekkies young and old will anxiously wait in line to see the Enterprise and it's crew in their latest adventure. However, if the last film is any indication,



Man of Steel
In Theaters June 14

If I had to pick only 1 film to see this summer, it would probably be Zack Snyder's Man of Steel. It's a common belief among Superman-lovers like myself that the last adaptation to truly do Superman justice was in 1978 when Christopher Reeve donned the famous red and blue leotard. Considered one of the most difficult superheroes to really get right, the hype around this film is understandably massive. Based on the trailer alone, it looks like Snyder may finally deliver the goods that fans like me have been waiting for with his complex, gritty, more indie/artistic portrayal.

SGS: Advice for my Teenaged Self

It's been a lot longer than I intended from when I announced I would begin a series entitled "Single Girl Survival", and today when I actually accomplish my goal of writing the first piece. However, I've chosen a hot topic that's been floating around my newsfeed quite a lot the last little while, like here and here.

What would you tell your younger self if you could?


It's actually a question I've asked myself so many times over the last few years that's amazing I didn't think of this topic sooner. While I cannot travel through time to actually tell my teenaged self these things, I can hold onto the hope that a teenager somewhere may see it.

Also, while it feels a little self-indulgent to toot my own horn so much in one blog post, I hope you'll take it as a general invitation for women to celebrate themselves. It's not meant to be a conceited, masturbatory misuse of my blog to revel in how fantastic I think I am. 

Dear Faceless Teenaged Reader:

You're So Much More Beautiful Than You Think You Are

I've noticed a strange phenomenon as I've grown older. Once 5-10 years have passed since a photograph was taken, that photograph transforms into something completely different. Suddenly, a photo where you remember looking "fat, ugly, terrible, bloated, pasty, sweaty, etc" becomes a relic to a moment in time you wish you could recapture. While I'm sure there are some people who may still cringe over their childhood photos (the hair in the 80s was really bad, guys), I've spoken to so many women who have experienced this phenomenon as well.

I wish I had known that I was that beautiful.

Not to say we're not beautiful at our current age, but it's a nostalgic and youthful beauty that we can never recapture. (Why do you think plastic surgeons exists?)

Take this photo for example. When it was taken, I recall thinking I looked fat, ugly, my hair was "bad", my smile was stupid, and my skin was gross. I also remember the day this was taken; I so feared having my picture taken in my DISGUSTING state that I was behaving like I imagine a Hollywood diva would on the set of some terrible rom-com.

When I look at this photo now, I see it in a completely different light. My hair looks great, and I wish I could remember how I managed to do it. My earrings are adorable, my sweater is a size I couldn't dream of fitting into today, and I love my cheekbones. My skin looks radiant, and (despite my shitty attitude that day), I've managed to somehow look happy. My beautiful, radiant mother is next to me, and I believe she may have made me laugh right before the photo was taken in an effort to get natural emotion out of me. Good job, Mom.

Now, although I still fear the camera like the plague, I try my best to focus on what I love about myself. It's a terrible thing to waste your own beauty, and to insult yourself by describing yourself as ugly or any other negative adjective. If you can't accept your beauty the way you are TODAY, no amount of change in appearance will ever change that.

My favourite thing about this photograph, though, is that it's one of the few pictures that truly captures how much I look like my mother. The older I get, the more I embrace how much I'm like her. I realize now that being compared to my mother in any way is the highest compliment I could be paid. I also CRINGE when I think about how nasty I was to her as a teenager.

Which brings me to my next point...

Be Nice To Your Mother

When you're a teenager, you teeter precariously on the precipice of adulthood. However, hormones cause you to become so deluded by chemistry that you somehow think you've already arrived there. Everyone is so stupid, and you are so smart.

Here's a tip: you're not nearly as smart as you think you are, and that's okay. You're not supposed to be.

Comedies That Don't Suck: This Is 40 and Our Idiot Brother

I originally wrote this post over the weekend with the intent of publishing it today. I wanted to review some really great comedies that I've seen recently, namely because I've panned several in a row and was feeling burnt out (comedy-wise).

Today, I have a different reason for posting. After seeing the horrible terror attack in Boston yesterday afternoon, I feel a heaviness of grief and disbelief that I'm finding hard to shake. The frequency of these type of tragedies recently has dipped me into a feeling of doom and existentialism that I usually try to keep out of my life. My empathy and sadness for the victims hangs in my brain all day long. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this kind of weight, so instead I post these for those of you looking for an bit of an escape. I know I need one.

This Is 40

I am not 40. In fact, I'm 15 years from that. Somehow, that feels slightly terrifying to write. 40 is considered the "scary age" for some people. Even though 40 is still quite young by today's standards, that scary stigma still exists. Women begin to lie about their age, men begin to have identity crises, and your aging children (once cute) now hate you. These are all the relatively simple conflicts faced by Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) in

Pete and Debbie will be familiar to viewers; they were supporting players in the wildly popular Knocked Up, another apt observation on an earlier stage in life (childbirth) by writer-director Judd Apatow. Now, this sort-of-sequel deals with another stage entirely: mid life. Pete, only a few weeks younger than Debbie, begins to draw back from his wife and two daughters in an attempt to rediscover himself. He takes up cycling, sneaks cupcakes when Debbie isn't looking, and spends hours in the bathroom playing games on his iPad. Debbie, his neurotic and high-maintenance wife, decides that she isn't 40. She's 38. She smokes in secret, questions her sexual attractiveness, and goes clubbing with younger girls in an attempt to recapture her youth.

The backdrop of these inner conflicts is the risk of complete financial ruin and constant familial conflict. Pete's independent record label is floundering, and he has yet to tell Debbie that they will have to sell their house. He also has continued to give his father money, despite promising he would stop. They fight constantly, over small stuff and big stuff. They make vows to live better. They attempt to rekindle their flame. These are all attempts to recapture their spark and save their marriage from collapse.

Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann are incredible together. Both so deeply comfortable in their characters, they help achieve Judd Apatow's trademark honest comedic style: a tricky interpretation of the "it's funny because it's true" tactic that is as old as comedy itself. There are no ridiculous stunts, no convoluted plots here: it is just the story of a married couple. In fact, Apatow is married to Mann in real life, and their marriage is said to be the inspiration for a lot of moments in the film. It shows. The authenticity is what makes this film so great. Personally, I found the couples daughters (played by real life daughters Iris and Maude Apatow) my personal favourites.

Teenager Sadie (Maude Apatow) is such an accurate portrayal of the absolute madness experienced by girls as they enter puberty that I think she was actually quoting me. Her line "my relationship with LOST is none of your business" still makes me chuckle, as her relationship with LOST mirrors my relationship with Harry Potter with shocking accuracy (as do her temper tantrums). My hand to God, when I was 14 I threw an identical tantrum about having nothing to wear (out of nowhere and with no provocation) and threw my high heels at the wall so hard that the stilletto stuck into the drywall. To this day, I don't know why.

The entire cast is strong, and there are notable cameos by familiar faces such as Megan Fox (and I didn't even hate her that much), Lena Dunham (Girls), Albert Brooks, John Lithgow, Chris O'Dowd (Bridesmaids, Girls), and yes- Melissa McCarthy (who is on screen for 5 minutes and is her brilliant self).

The films doesn't really have a traditional plot structure, either; you don't really know where it's going. However, that is the nature of marriage, and life, and the film mimics that with incredible insight and hope. I am not 40, and even if you aren't either, you should see this film. At the very least, you should know what you're in for.

Our Idiot Brother

Our Idiot Brother is not a big name comedy, despite the fact that it stars some seriously strong comedic talent. It's written and directed by the relatively unknown brother and sister Jesse and Evgenia Peretz. While it is small, it is mighty, and is now probably one of my favourite comedies.
I'm fully on the Paul Rudd bandwagon at this point. It is not unusual to hear me drunkenly say: "Paul Rudd is just a guy you wanna hug... it's impossible not to like him, he's just the sweetest guy ever". No truer words were spoken, especially when considering this film.

TRAILER TIME! The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I know I'm not the only one who's excited!

Check out the brand spankin' new, exclusive, juicy juicy teaser for the latest installment in The Hunger Games trilogy: Catching Fire.

The Incredibly Boring Burt Wonderstone

After my less than satisfactory experience with Identity Thief, I was hoping to bet on a sure thing when I chose to see The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. I needed a laugh, and surely a film with Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, and Jim Carrey wouldn't disappoint. I was so tragically mistaken.

There's no nice way to say it, really. Burt Wonderstone is just a bad. It's boring, unfunny, awkward, and overlong. Although blessedly harmless and inoffensive, it was still really tough to make it all the way through. I toughed it out, though. I did so that others won't have to.

Burt Wonderstone (Carell) is a magician who's long running show with partner Anton Marvelton (Buscemi) is a staple of the Las Vegas strip. Unfortunately, their show (clearly modeled after the likes of Sigfried and Roy) is no longer what the public wants. When street magician Criss Angel Steve Gray (Carrey) rises in popularity on his TV show "Brain Rapist", the aging twosome can't keep up. The pair split, and the ridiculously cartoonish Wonderstone begins to do the show alone with the help of assistant and wannabe-magician Jane (Olivia Wilde). When he finds himself fired, working at a retirement home, and without the luxuries of hotel living, Wonderstone hits bottom. That is, until he meets his childhood idol Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin), and the two devise a plan to perform the best trick ever and win back a spot on a hotel stage.

The problem with this film is actually really simple. No, it's not the ridiculous premise. That, despite being heavy handed in it's satire, could have resulted in a mildly funny film. It's definitely not the actors, either. In fact, I wouldn't be exaggerating if I called them all-stars. Arkin and Carell in particular were both absolutely brilliant together in Little Miss Sunshine, and Jim Carrey is the crown jewel of Canadian comedy.

No, the problem is the writing: truly atrocious writing. The jokes simply aren't funny. I started to think it was just me, until I realized the entire theater was silent. It was getting a little weird, to be honest. People were texting and browsing the net on their phones, and for once I wasn't even annoyed. My nachos lost all their flavour, and I began to dream of a day when I wouldn't have to watch this movie anymore. Would that day ever come? Would I ever laugh again?

Jim Carrey is the one who is most disserviced by this horrible script. His knack for physical comedy is reduced to performing ridiculous and stupid tricks that involve making a puppy disappear, cutting into his cheek to reveal a playing card, and finally the grotesque finale of drilling a hole into his own head. Is that really the best you could give Ace Ventura?

She also stole peoples watches so they wouldn't
realize how much of their life had passed by
while sitting through this awful movie

Carell is transformed into a ridiculous caricature; and not even the funny kind like Michael Scott. In fact, I occasionally thought of Michael Scott while agonizing through this movie just to remind myself that he has real talent. Wonderstone is one of the absolute worst protagonists I have ever seen in a comedy. I literally didn't care about him at all. Part of me wished that there would be a twist ending where he died spectacularly. Buscemi, to his credit, is a solid straight-man... not that it would have been that hard to be the guy not laughing during this farce. Olivia Wilde's only purpose is to act as Wonderstone's babysitter (quite literally at times).

How in God's name did these talented actors end up here? I know one of them must be to blame... one of them signed on and the others only agreed to do it because of them. Or maybe it was just the director, Don Scardino, who hooked them in. I mean, how bad could the director of 30 Rock be? Pretty bad, in fact; and while the film tries it's best to redeem itself in the third act, by then it's just too far gone. Writer Jonathan Goldstein probably should attempt to erase this film from his professional memory and continue writing the most anticipated film of 2014: Horrible Bosses 2.